On The Suddenness Of This Referral

Anyone following our journey knows that the wait times for "healthy" or "non special needs" children from China is increasing . . . and increasing. On our home study, we were approved to adopt a child with no known special needs, or to adopt a child with special needs if we chose to do so. We have some expertise and knowledge of resources that we feel makes us a suitable family for a child who has special needs.

Parenthetically: This was a horrible decision-making process. Working with children who have special needs, on the one hand, I know very well that there is a CHILD behind every special need. I also know first hand, however, a lot of the difficulties that come with special needs. For every diagnosis I could think, "That would be too much for our (extremely active) family," I could also think of a child whom I care about who has that condition.

Being open to a child with special needs made our wait more unpredictable. We were in the long line at the CCAA, but we could potentially be matched by our agency with a child from their waiting child list at a completely unknown time.

I hoped - and knew it might not happen - that there would be a miracle and we would find our child in summer or fall 2008.

The call from our social worker to see if we wanted to review "Sophie's" file was unexpected, out of the blue, overwhelming. . .Wow. Of course, there was excitement, elation, amazement (and e-mails and multiple rapid-fire calls to all of Michael's numbers--pick up, pick up, pick up, you have a daughter!)

In the whirlwind of all these emotions, there were also the anxieties (some so laughably petty): We don't have room for another car seat! Gabrian is not ready to share his mommy! I don't have any vacation time. We can't afford COBRA benefits to take time off work. I have two CFY's to supervise; this is a very bad time to take off work. I thought we'd have more time to knock back some debt. Michael doesn't have his hepatitis shots done. And so on.

Then, I saw her name & its translation (Sophie is just the alias to keep her anonymity on the waiting child list). Si Jing. Si= think, consider. Jing= calm, still.

Psalms 46:10 - Be still and know that I am God.

So we will. Be still. And at peace. And wait. And be thankful.