One Month Update

We met Ariana one month ago today. The changes over the month have been incredible. (I'm going to exclude the last two days from my comments because she has a thorough head cold and should not be judged by her current misery and unpleasantness.)

Instead of the halting steps she took from the desk to the bed in the hotel room on those first days, she now chases her brothers up and down the hall. She climbs up and down off the furniture (end tables included) and likes to try to climb the stairs (with help). She can't quite keep up with Gabrian, but there is no hesitancy in her pursuit.

She's still a little asymmetrical with right arm outstretched and left arm held higher and close to her body. My friend Angie, an excellent PT, pointed out to me, in summary, that, because of her hearing, her world has been at her right hand. At first, I deliberately handed things to her on her left side to increase awareness/function, but it quickly became apparent that she uses her hands equally; I just notice the asymmetry when she's walking, even then, less and less all the time.

She's smart, just like her brothers, and it's always fun and amazing to watch how fast children soak up everything at this age. I love it. She understands our home routines really well and quite a few words. She says, "Mama," "Dada," and "Ge ge" (Chinese for "older brother" & an easy way for her to request the younger generation of her slaves). She also says "diaper," and "up," but those inconsistently. The tone, rhythm, and quality of her sounds have changed. She went (very rapidly) through some rudiplicated babbling, and now uses varigated babbling, with some jargon emerging. Not bad for one month of exposure where her whole sound system is being re-wired! (I'm a speech therapist; I have to notice these things though it drives Michael crazy.)

The attachment process seems to be going amazingly well. She definitely had an "anxious attachment" at first, clinging to me, only me, and with a lot of distress. Now, she seems much more secure. She confidently leaves me with frequent check-ins to make sure I'm still there. She's getting better about letting me leave her sight. I say, "Back-a-minute," (what Cameron and Gabrian said when they were little) when I have to run downstairs to get something, and sometimes, she'll stand at the gate and wait without crying. I think it's important that she understands that I leave and return, but I try to make sure I return quickly. I also try to stay with her when she's going to sleep (an arduous process as she fights sleep). I'll sort laundry or papers or something so I'm present, in view, but not attending to her at naptime. Evening is worse because she's usually fought her naps and is overtired and overwrought at bedtime. Michael wonders why she gets so much more accomodation from me at bedtime than the other kids ever got. I said, "Because she has a genuine reason to have separation anxiety." Michael said, "She's manipulating you." I think he's partially right, but I also think she has a valid reason to need more security indulgences and am unsure where to draw the line.

The sleep issue is the only one not going well. This girl hates to sleep. Her naps are after fights, and usually 30 - 40 minutes at best. She sleeps in fits and spurts at night. Yesterday, she literally fell asleep standing up in her crib, leaning against the corner with her head sagging on the rail. (My movement to reach for the camera woke her up to begin crying all over again.) Ari, Michael, and I could all use some quality sleep. (I had Michael look for pediatric Ambien when he was in town yesterday, but he claims he couldn't find any.)

Her behavior in China implied that we might have a stubborn and willful little girl. She certainly had a good set of lungs. When she first arrived here, she went 180 degrees to the most delightful, sunshiny little one. Maybe it was self-preservation mode. In the last week or so (again, excluding the sick days), there has been a qualitative change in her attitude and interaction. She has not been as consistently happy, but has intermittent bouts of disagreeability. This isn't a bad thing. Her behavior now seems much more . . . normal. She seems like a normal, entitled toddler who stands up for herself efficiently.

She loves her brothers. She is ecstatic when they arrive home from school and devastated when they disappear to watch TV instead of adoring her.

She certainly has become accustomed to our customs of hugging, cuddling, and kissing. She gives the best kisses, squeezes, and pats your back when you hug her. Her smiles will melt your heart, and we'll all work overtime to win one of her infrequent giggles.

She's impossible not to love.