One Month Update

We met Ariana one month ago today. The changes over the month have been incredible. (I'm going to exclude the last two days from my comments because she has a thorough head cold and should not be judged by her current misery and unpleasantness.)

Instead of the halting steps she took from the desk to the bed in the hotel room on those first days, she now chases her brothers up and down the hall. She climbs up and down off the furniture (end tables included) and likes to try to climb the stairs (with help). She can't quite keep up with Gabrian, but there is no hesitancy in her pursuit.

She's still a little asymmetrical with right arm outstretched and left arm held higher and close to her body. My friend Angie, an excellent PT, pointed out to me, in summary, that, because of her hearing, her world has been at her right hand. At first, I deliberately handed things to her on her left side to increase awareness/function, but it quickly became apparent that she uses her hands equally; I just notice the asymmetry when she's walking, even then, less and less all the time.

She's smart, just like her brothers, and it's always fun and amazing to watch how fast children soak up everything at this age. I love it. She understands our home routines really well and quite a few words. She says, "Mama," "Dada," and "Ge ge" (Chinese for "older brother" & an easy way for her to request the younger generation of her slaves). She also says "diaper," and "up," but those inconsistently. The tone, rhythm, and quality of her sounds have changed. She went (very rapidly) through some rudiplicated babbling, and now uses varigated babbling, with some jargon emerging. Not bad for one month of exposure where her whole sound system is being re-wired! (I'm a speech therapist; I have to notice these things though it drives Michael crazy.)

The attachment process seems to be going amazingly well. She definitely had an "anxious attachment" at first, clinging to me, only me, and with a lot of distress. Now, she seems much more secure. She confidently leaves me with frequent check-ins to make sure I'm still there. She's getting better about letting me leave her sight. I say, "Back-a-minute," (what Cameron and Gabrian said when they were little) when I have to run downstairs to get something, and sometimes, she'll stand at the gate and wait without crying. I think it's important that she understands that I leave and return, but I try to make sure I return quickly. I also try to stay with her when she's going to sleep (an arduous process as she fights sleep). I'll sort laundry or papers or something so I'm present, in view, but not attending to her at naptime. Evening is worse because she's usually fought her naps and is overtired and overwrought at bedtime. Michael wonders why she gets so much more accomodation from me at bedtime than the other kids ever got. I said, "Because she has a genuine reason to have separation anxiety." Michael said, "She's manipulating you." I think he's partially right, but I also think she has a valid reason to need more security indulgences and am unsure where to draw the line.

The sleep issue is the only one not going well. This girl hates to sleep. Her naps are after fights, and usually 30 - 40 minutes at best. She sleeps in fits and spurts at night. Yesterday, she literally fell asleep standing up in her crib, leaning against the corner with her head sagging on the rail. (My movement to reach for the camera woke her up to begin crying all over again.) Ari, Michael, and I could all use some quality sleep. (I had Michael look for pediatric Ambien when he was in town yesterday, but he claims he couldn't find any.)

Her behavior in China implied that we might have a stubborn and willful little girl. She certainly had a good set of lungs. When she first arrived here, she went 180 degrees to the most delightful, sunshiny little one. Maybe it was self-preservation mode. In the last week or so (again, excluding the sick days), there has been a qualitative change in her attitude and interaction. She has not been as consistently happy, but has intermittent bouts of disagreeability. This isn't a bad thing. Her behavior now seems much more . . . normal. She seems like a normal, entitled toddler who stands up for herself efficiently.

She loves her brothers. She is ecstatic when they arrive home from school and devastated when they disappear to watch TV instead of adoring her.

She certainly has become accustomed to our customs of hugging, cuddling, and kissing. She gives the best kisses, squeezes, and pats your back when you hug her. Her smiles will melt your heart, and we'll all work overtime to win one of her infrequent giggles.

She's impossible not to love.

First Moments

Finally, our first moments with Ariana.

The Nights

Ariana slept with us the whole time we were in China (and she sleeps like an egg beater), and I had some concerns about how to get her into a crib when we got home. She's done very well, but she is insistent about a middle-of-the-night play time. (I am generously attributing this to the desynchronisination of her internal clock and daylight hours and praying it will naturally fade with the jet lag.) During the night, I have three goals:

• reassure her that I am there
• keep her in her crib as much as possible
• limit interaction and light

Even though she's interrupting my sleep, I have to say I'm amazed at how good she is. She doesn't insist on getting up or getting in bed with me. She cries for just a moment until she knows I'm there, and then plays nicely in her crib. I put my hand through the crib rails so she can touch me, and she does her best to try to fit her whole body into my hand and eventually goes back to sleep.

Last night, she cried for a minute, and when I quieted her, Gabrian was crying, "Mom! Mom! Ari's crying!" Michael went upstairs to comfort him, and that took longer than comforting her. Gabrian was too tired to find words, but could insist "Not OK! Crying!" It was actually very sweet.

Remarkable Ariana

Ari has been with us two weeks today (I'm not going to try to figure out the time difference; we met her two Mondays ago). She's walking very well, eating better, and exploring with confidence. She is learning English quickly. She clearly understands Ari, Ariana, Mama, Daddy, come 'ere, up, bottle, kisses, diaper, shoe, and eye with no extra cues. Still, it was a surprise this evening when we told Gabrian he needed a diaper (he, of course, disagreed--his m.o. for the week), and Ari went over and brought us a diaper. She brought one of hers, not Gabrian's, but still. . . pretty impressive.

Big Brother Gabrian

Gabrian is having a rough time (though already getting better today than yesterday). Yesterday, he was grumpy all day to everything and everyone. If Ariana looked at him, he scowled, and if she touched him, he shrieked. Needless to say, there has been no sharing of toys or playing together. It's understandable, and we're giving him some latitude with his attitude. He needs to disagree with every statement made.

Today, we had to do some grocery shopping, and both kids were very good, and neutral territory seemed to be good for him. When we came, home, he wanted to "hold the baby." How cute is that?

Getting Into The Home Routine

Yesterday was a great day. Conor had his first basketball game of the season (did GREAT). I had anticipated that Michael and Conor would do this one alone as Ariana would need settling time at home. She was doing so well that the whole family went to the game - and then dinner at Azteca (with Denise and Eric). Ari had a great time toddling around at the basketball game. Gabrian was amazing. He sat or stood on his chair and cheered for Conor the whole time, requiring almost no supervision. Ariana even sat in a high chair at Azteca! Hooray! Then, we came home for the Zags game, which the toddlers actually let us watch.

Today . . . the competition between Gabrian and Ari is heating up, especially on Gabrian's part. If Ari needs a diaper, so does he. When it's time for Ari's clothes, it's also time for him to get dressed. He wanted me to spoon-feed him his yogurt during Ariana's breakfast (ironic since this request followed a near-fit as he insisted he would get his own yogurt out of the fridge - requiring use of a stool - and his own spoon, and scoot his own chair . . .) Any game must be done in equivalent and alternating turns. Michael says there's no way I will have the energy to do everything in duplicate 24/7.

I'm already scared of the laundry.

Meeting Brothers

We are Home

We are home and Ariana is settling in with her brothers. As I write this we have been awake 31 hours. It was kind of a do-over on Friday since we left early Friday morning and arrived Friday morning here. We just skipped the whole night/sleeping part & got to do Friday twice.

Ariana was unbelievably good the entire trip. No crying. No crying on the 4.5 hour first leg of the trip, no crying on the 10+ hours on the second leg, and no crying during the 1.5 hours at immigrations and then and then 2 hours to get home with the layover and flight from Seattle to Spokane. She only cried for a bit while we strapped her in a car seat (they don't have them in China) and dug out our car at the Spokane airport. I wasn't sure we were going to get it free. We dug, and pushed, and dug, and pushed. Parking for 3 weeks outside during the worst snow storms for some time was not great. They also had plowed along behind the car, so even that had a huge burm. We made it out. Somebody was looking out for us today.

Ariana played, chortled, slept, watched some TV, ate, and was just amazing. Being stuck in a small area with a toddler is never easy. Doing it for hours on end in an International plane seat is a test of courage.

We got off really easy.

Of course, after we sleep a bit, more pictures to follow. Family is visiting and as excited as we are. Thank you to all of the family and friends that have been following our trip! Your emails and comments were fantastic when so far from home. It was all I could do to keep up. It's nice to be able to take a bit of normal with you on such an adventure. We will keep on posting as we get settled.

Going Home!

It is 5:00 am Friday here (1:00pm Thursday at home), and we are up and preparing to leave. Our bags will be picked up at 5:15, and off to the airport. Boys, we should be home in about 24 hours! That is, if we all survive such a trip with a toddler. . .

White Swan Pictures

Misc. Anecdotes In No Particular Order

I'm trying to remember some things that I wanted to blog but have forgotten as Ariana hasn't let me touch the computer much. (She's on my lap now.)

With no discussion on our part about our occupations back home, our guide, William, in Beijing, surmised that Michael would be in IT, and guessed that I was a teacher. Pretty close, I thought.

We haven't seen mistranslated signs, but I was mildly amused by the left lane of the freeway, labelled "Overtaking Lane." There are some things that lose something in translation on the menu. For example, we can order "fried onions with white fungus," or "ground beef with manured cheddar (cheeseburger.)"

Now that we've reached Guangzhou, we really can order deep fried fish head, hot & sour beef intestine, or steamed snake. I haven't tried any of these yet.

You know how fun it is to eat at a restaurant with a toddler? How about for EVERY meal? It's a great diet plan.

I thought it would be very hard to adopt an older child, and we specifically wanted a baby or toddler. There were two kids adopted in our travel group, age 7 & 10 who were both delightful. What an amazing journey for these kids. They gave me a whole new outlook on adoption.

An Outing -- Hooray!

Ari Hates the Hotel Room

This girl has got an attitude, and a set of lungs to express it! As you can see from pictures, she can be delightful when we're out and about. (She is her Grandma's girl. While she used to be afraid of the elevator, now, she beams when she hears it ding because it means we're going to do something!) In the hotel room, she is crying. She can go for a very long time without tiring. I told Michael, it is like having a cranky siamese twin.

Traditional Dress for a Group Picture with Travel Group

This is for Cameron

Cameron, take a look at how cold it is outside the airplane. It's a bit blurry, but I think you will be able to see.

A scene from Lost

If you are not a Lost fan, this won't mean much to you. On the way to Beijing, I had a surreal experience. On Lost there is a period of time where Sawyer is locked in a zoo cage with Kate across from him. He spends a lot of time trying to hit the right sequence of buttons to get his fish biscuit. It is a tremendous feeling of accomplishment when it finally comes out.

I had the same sort of experience at the airport with the vending machine. With a couple of hours to kill I decided to check out what was available. I'm sure it was quite fun for the locals watching the caucasian attempt to earn his fish biscuit! The good news is you can get beer from the machine. Unfortunately I didn't seem to get the right sequence.

Looking forward to home

The weather has been okay the past few days. Yesterday they took us to a shopping mall. Most of the hundreds of stores in the mall were closed. Everyone is heading home for the Chinese New Year which is much like Christmas here. The majority of tham take 2 weeks to a month to spend time with family. I think that is pretty neat.

Early yesterday, we found out our appointment at the US Consulate was rescheduled to yesterday afternoon. We went to the US Embassy and performed our swearing in ceremony. Ariana has her US Visa, her Chinese passport, and will become a US citizen when she passes through immigration in the US. Both the Chinese and US government have agreed she is officially ours.

Last night we took a dinner cruise up the Pearl River. Luckily it was indoors. It had outdoor observation decks, but we didn't hang out on those long. It was pretty to see the buildings along the shoreline lit up with neon.

Today we went to the toy market. It was again many many floors with hundreds of stores. All but a few were closed. It is weird to walk through floors and floors of stores all closed up. The front of the stores have garage doors. They just pull them shut. The few that were open were selling New Years decorations. We (I) was hoping to make it to the electronics market, but it seems that nothing would be open. Oh well, no fake ipod knock-offs for me. I guess I'll have to go back to ebay.

Once we got back to the hotel we came back and did some more shopping on the island before everyone left for the holiday tomorrow. All the boys got something special when we get home. Luckily we don't have to spoil Denise anymore now that we have Ariana .

We have no idea what we will do over the next few days. We are told that the fireworks show on the river will be neat. However, there doesn't look like there will be anything open as the island empties out for the next few weeks. Because we weren't able to get an earlier flight, we are the last family to leave. Some left today. Our guide did call Northwest a couple of times to see if other flights have opened up, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. It would be pretty rare this time of year.

Here are some pictures over the past few days.

Hard life.

Yesterday was Sunny

Yesterday was sunny as we went out and about. We hit the mall and some local stores. Also, all the people appeared back onto the streets. My favorite part was hitting the park along the river. It was great to be outside. Ariana demanded to be on her mom all day, so her shoulder got pretty tired. She is doing a lot of grinning now and doesn't mind the camera as much. Right now she is leaving her mom (sitting on the floor) and exploring the room. Every few minutes she returns to make sure that mom hasn't moved.

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

Life has got a lot better!!

Hi everybody!!